edit research paper the writing in red is what you need to fix. 

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Literature of George Orwell

 

Prior to independence, colonial masters had taken charges of the administration of various countries across the world. The colonies exploited the natural resources in the colonies. They also used readily available human power before mechanization. Citizens lost their lands to colonial masters, which they used as plantations, firms, and homes. The colonialization led to emergence of wars between colonizers and the civilized colonized. These wars led to destruction of properties and loss mass loss of lives. Therefore, there were negative effect of colonization to both the colonized and colonizers. The focus of this paper is to analyze the effects of colorization according to the literature of George Orwell. Until you get to this last sentence, it sounds like you are only going to talk about colonialism. Your info here is good, but you need to bring in Orwell much sooner in this first paragraph as the thesis statement doesn’t fit with the rest of it. Also, don’t ‘tell’ your reader what you are writing about…’the focus of this paper is to…’ You can get your point across without ‘telling’ the reader.

 

George Orwell depicts himself as a colonial servant. He always found it inhuman in the deeds to the colonial subjects. He narrates a tale on shooting an elephant. The elephant does not die even after several shots. Orwell in his literature portrays his unsympathetic deeds while shooting an elephant and in his action after its death. He is angered by being among the British servants as police officers. He admitted that the coolie died because it gave him a pretext for shooting the elephant. According to his fellow police officers, he did the right thing by shooting the elephant. Further, the native people thought that Orwell saved face. However, Orwell says that he often wondered if the other people had an idea that he shot the elephant solely to avoid looking a fool. This is good information, but I don’t see how it ties into the thesis. It goes into a story, but doesn’t really or clearly relate back to colonialism being bad for the colonizers or the colonized.

Throughout his essay, Orwell portrayed his idea concerning the effects of the imperialism to both the oppressed and the oppressors. He argues that every white man’s life in the East was one long struggle. Orwell says that the white men destroyed their freedom by turning tyrant. He also says that the imperialist became a like hollow, posing dummy, the conventionalized figure of a sahib. However, Orwell’s essay is more than one person’s riveting narrative about the beginning of awareness. The narrative on shooting an elephant captures a universal experience of going against one’s humanity at the cost of a part of that humanity.Still confused here. It’s fine to use this story as a jumping off point, but you need to set it up as specific incidents that show how one or the other is injured by colonialism. I would like this to be more clear. There are no in-text citations here. Where did you find your information? You MUST cite your sources in-text or it’s considered plagiarism.

 

The colonization led to an emergence of liberation wars. The colonies used its resources on the expeditions. Further, troops were sent in the colonies to participate in these wars. The native fighters were however, determined to lose as many lives so long as they would achieve their freedom. As such, there were massive loss of live by both the colonizers and the colonized. These wars were expensive to the colonial masters as it involved transportation of troops from Europe to colonies such as in Africa, Asia, and America. They also transported aminations to the fighting grounds. As such, there was fall in the economic level of the colonial countries. The colonizers also lost dignity due to sense the inhumanity with which they treated the native people.This is history, but it doesn’t have anything to do with Orwell and his writings. Every paragraph needs to be related back to Orwell and his writings somehow. Also, there are no in-text citations here. Where did you find your information? You MUST cite your sources in-text or it’s considered plagiarism.

 

The native people engaged in liberation wars. These wars led to massive deaths as the people lacked improved arms and training. They also lacked resources to finance the liberation wars. As such, many fighters died while others we held as captives by the colonial master. Further, the economy of the colonies destabilized due to massive exploitation of the natural resources. This is history, but it doesn’t have anything to do with Orwell and his writings. Every paragraph needs to be related back to Orwell and his writings somehow. . There are no in-text citations here. Where did you find your information? You MUST cite your sources in-text or it’s considered plagiarism

In his literature, Orwell depicts how colonialist treated the mistreated people. He reveals a rational image of imperialism, as he was a part of the imperialistic workforce via recruitment in the Burmese police. His settlement in Burma gave him the chance to analyze from a close quarter the effects of imperialism. Thus, in his creation of shooting an elephant shows the real picture of what happens in a colonial ground. The elephant lacks knowledge concerning nature. Thus giving an elephant a punishment by killing it shows lack of moral integrity. As such, this literature reveals the facts and details of colonialism and its consequence upon the colonized as well as upon the colonizer in the sub-continent that assist us realize Orwell's attitude towards imperialism and colonialism I’m not sure how the elephant has anything to do in this context. The elephant lacking knowledge doesn’t have anything to do with anything….

When Orwell kills the elephant, he abandons his morals to acquire the endorsement of the Burman. He feels obliged to shoot the elephant because he thought that the Burman did not like him but liked the magical rifle that was in his hands. Orwell speaks of himself when he says that it was the conditions of the imperialist's rule requiring him to spend his life trying to please as well as impress the masters and the natives. Therefore, in every predicament he had to do what the natives expected him to do.Good points here, but how does it relate to his literature and colonialism? . There are no in-text citations here. Where did you find your information? You MUST cite your sources in-text or it’s considered plagiarism

Orwell reveals the dismal quality of his entire life as well as every white man's life in the East, which was one long struggle. Orwell's fears of mockery represent the fears of imperialists of a loss of control. It is clear that the British could have power over the economics and politics of their colonies; however, they could not control the mockery and disdain of the natives. At the moment when he faced the elephant, he said that the sole thought in his mind was that if anything went wrong those two thousand Burman would see him pursued, caught, trampled on, and reduced to a grinning corpse. He feared since if it happened, it was quite probable that some of them would laugh. As such, Orwell dreaded the mockery of the natives more than losing his own life. . There are no in-text citations here. Where did you find your information? You MUST cite your sources in-text or it’s considered plagiarism

In "Shooting an Elephant," as Orwell "stood there with the rifle in his hands," he "first grasped the hollowness, the futility of the white man's dominion in the East. Orwell tells a story of moral suffering. He sadly reflects on his ironical realization that white man destroyed his freedom when he turned tyrant. Orwell's story evokes pathos for the politically powerful imperialist who suffers from his tyranny. Therefore, according to Orwell, the white man does not enjoy even after establishing as many colonies as his power would allow.

At the onset of the end of colonization, some of major industries started to collapse, as there was lack of raw materials that were previously available in the colonies. As such, there was an economic drawback as the governments were unable to finance some of its economic activities. Further, importation of the raw materials was challenged due to creation of rivalry hence imposing heavy levies and taxes on these raw materials. In the colonies, the economic foundations were set and the industrial parks emerged due to civilization and education. Therefore, most of the colonies started to produce some of the products that some of the masters exported to the colonial markets. Consequently, the economy of the colonies started to rise at higher rate approaching the economies of the colonial masters. The rise also created an economic rivalry among different countries. This is history, but it doesn’t have anything to do with Orwell and his writings. Every paragraph needs to be related back to Orwell and his writings somehow

 

In the colonies, the end of colonization marked the beginning of independence. They were left to establish their administration and setup the economy of the country on the move. However, the level of education of the colonized was below standards of leading a country. Consequently, there emerged political wrangles and civil wars due to leadership greed, and illiteracy. There was also an emergence of political assassinations and rise of dictatorship. The introduction of political systems created challenges among the people as they abandoned their cultural aspects that were even better as compared to the new system. This is history, but it doesn’t have anything to do with Orwell and his writings. Every paragraph needs to be related back to Orwell and his writings somehow

 

In conclusion, it is clear that there were effects to both colonies and colonizers. According to the literature of Orwell, the colonization led to loss of sense of humanity and integrity as colonial servants killed innocent natives. The colonial masters also used a lot of fund to finance the operations carried out within the colonies. They also lost trust from the natives who even after independence could not rely on them for any financial support. Further, there was emergence of cold war due to supremacy battle. Every colonial master wanted to be the superpower by influencing most of the political interests across the world. The people in the colonies lacked confidence in their capabilities and relied on the colonial masters for security and financial supports. As such, Orwell among the other officers worked towards helping maintain security. In his literature he says that he shot the elephant to meet the expectations of the people despite being aware that killing it did not portray his care for the people. As you can see from my comments here, you have a lot of history and a lot of description of things that happen in Shooting An Elephant, but none of this info really coalesces into a paper about how Orwell’s writing showed how colonialism affected the colonists as well as the colonized. Each paragraph should start with a different point from Orwell’s writings and then go on to explain how that example positively or negatively affected everyone. There is a lot of history here that doesn’t have anything to do with Orwell’s literature. The paper is supposed to focus on that. You will need to go back and find examples in the literature to back up all the points you’ve made here in your last a paragraph and that show/illustrate your points. Also, there are a lot of confusingly worded sentences. You have used the words ‘therefore’ and ‘thus’ a lot. Using them once or twice is ok, but in nearly every paragraph and that begins to be all the reader notices. They are also not used correctly or in the right context. Also, you haven’t cited any or your sources in-text. If you don’t do that in your final draft, it will receive a O as it’s considered plagiarism.I think you are on the right track here and know where this paper needs to go, but you’ve veered a bit left of center and need to focus more no the literature rather than just the history. Please let me know if you have any questions. Below is a chart of what the different highlight colors mean.

 

 

 

 

References

Orwell, George (2014). The Orwell reader; fiction, essays, and reportage. New York: Harcourt, Brace.

Orwell, George, and W. J. West (2013). Orwell, the lost writings. New York: Arbor House.

Orwell, George, Peter Hobley Davison, Ian Angus, and Sheila Davison (2010). The complete works of George Orwell. London: Secker & Warburg.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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