Business Writing Scenarios, Ch. 4
lease revise the email in Business Writing Scenarios, Ch. 4, Application 4-A, pp.102-103.
Scenario: You are one of the supervisors cited in the email, who is disturbed by excessive personal cell phone use during work hours but who is also disturbed by the poorly crafted email sent to employees. You have decided to write the email for Barbara Long to show her how a more visually attractive, concise, and persuasive email is written.
While following the prompts and guidelines on pp. 102-103, keep in mind the demands of this kind of email genre:
- Purpose– What do you want to accomplish in this email? How can you word the email to solicit that kind of response?
- Audience – What does your audience need to know in order to perform in a way that is more constructive for everyone? What is your relationship with your audience and how does that relationship affect the wording? (Even if Barbara Long is the sender, she is, after all, your representative.)
- Format – What visual features make people read emails immediately?



Please revise the email in Business Writing Scenarios, Ch. 5, Application 5-E, pp.122-124.
Scenario: You are Judy Stabler’s supervisor and she has just approached you for help after receiving personal email responses to the email on p. 123 from 612 employees, each stating something different. She will have to read every email separately and make notes. This will take her at least 50 hours (3,060 minutes if she spends five minutes on each email, trying to decipher its meaning and recording its contents on a chart). There are still about 500 employees who have not responded.
Help her craft a new concise and visually attractive email that
- Follows the prompts and guidelines on pp. 122 – 124.
- Meets the purpose, audience, and format concerns of the previous email assignment, as well as of this assignment: What does her email need to accomplish? What do employees need to know in order to respond in a way that is useful to her, and how will she get them to respond? What visual features will facilitate an easy response for both Judy and her readers?
- Provides an efficient response system so that data can be collected, stored, and analyzed efficiently.
- Emphasizes the need for an employee response to the request at the end of the original email: “Tell us why a particular flex plan would work for your job responsibilities.” Simply stating this in the first and last paragraphs is not enough. Embed a realistic question in your
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