i need my paper revised, change what you want to, there was no required length so feel free to get ride of stuff.

For this revision, think beyond simply editing sentences for clarity. Don’t mistake proofreading for revising. Revision means looking at your work from a different angle, and perhaps trying something new to punch it up a bit. Work to develop clear and detailed paragraphs, consider the focus of your paper, and then, when all is said and done, clear up your language and grammar by looking out for sentence fragments, run-ons, comma splices, or awkward sentence structure.

if you could find a better way to introduce sources that would be nice but not necessary.

will tip 10 if done well

How electronics are taking over your life

By:

ENGL 111G Rhetoric and composition

2017-2018

spring semester

Not many will put much thought into picking up your phone, checking your email or sitting down to watch tv, not nearly as much as one would before trying any addictive drug like cocaine or heroin, because unknown to many is that technology may be doing a whole lot of harm to your life. These habits we pick up can be more addicting than we think but since technology is not usually associated with addiction not many people are alarmed when someone spends days or weeks playing.these games and could easily pass as another harmless pastime. This is until we get into how it can affect your brain yes that's right technology can release those feel good chemicals in your brain similar to the effect of drugs. So if you think society is not addicted think again and just like other drugs after a while our brains don't react the same as when we first started and need more to achieve the same feeling.

Addiction is bad, this isn't anything new to most people but what is new is the many effects that a technology addiction can have on us. These can vary and have a wide spectrum of possibilities ranging from social isolation, poor memory, poor time management and reduced quality of sleep. Our face to face interactions are suffering because we are looking at social media during a conversation or replying to an important text. We are inadvertently telling others that our online interactions are more important. Even more so it affects our memory with so much information at the tip of our fingers why bother remembering anything.(McBain, Sophie 2016) “A Harvard University project in 2013 found that when people were allowed to use Google to check their answers to trivia questions they rated their own intelligence and memories more highly”. So in a sense we think we are memories are working a lot better than they are.

Many statistics can tell you that we are spending too much time on our electronic devices but how much is too much well these things start to become an issue when they start to interrupt our daily lives where instead of spending time with face to face interactions you spend time on social media or texting or online gaming. This transition can be hard to notice since at the beginning you only spend your spare time on electronic devices but it soon can get out of hand. The amount in which our online time spent is growing and not at a slow steady pace but in leaps and bounds. Gfk’s multimedia monitor shows these statistical changes from 2012 to 2014(ciol, 2014) “time spent online via tablets (up 157 per cent, to over a half hour daily), smartphones (up 72 per cent, to over an hour a day), and even connected TVs (up 86 per cent, to 13 minutes daily)”. This is creating a dependence on electronics where once we used them for leisure time, we can now no longer live without them. Many movies have portrayed robots taking over through brute force but in real life their alot sneakier than that and we will become dependent on them before we know it.

Technology is not all bad though and in some instances is very beneficial but there is a fine line between them. One of the ways technology is affecting us in a good way is that it puts information at our fingertips. Once before if you wanted to know something you would have to go to the library find a book and read about it. This would take a long time and made learning a lot harder than it is today. Having such a vast amount of data available to everyone has made learning exceptionally easy but this also has a downside. Since anyone can post information on the internet not all information is totally accurate. This is why the online library has value because it has trusted sources of information. Finding credible sources is one often an overlooked aspect of the information found online. Most people automatically assume that the information that they have run into is of quality reliability without checking the source. This is a new hurdle we have to go through in the technological age. This small but important step is the key to stopping us from consuming false or exaggerated information from hard facts. The most important thing is just to always to be critical of the information you find, one rule of thumb is if it sounds too good to be true it probably is.

Technology is here to stay but instead of trying to fight it we should learn to have a healthy relationship with it. This requires balance with balance being the key to successfully living with technology. This is however far too easy of a line to cross and can drain your time faster than you thought possible.Whether you use technology all the time or just occasionally there is definitely an epidemic on the rise that is just passing us by because we are not taking the consequences seriously we need to limit the amount of time spent on tv and video games and have more face to face interactions. If we could limit the amount of time spent on electronics i believe this would be a step in the right direction.

References

CIOL. (2014, January 20). Teens' time spent online grew 37 pc since 2012. CIOL.

McBain, S. (2016). Head in the cloud: as we download ever more of our lives on to electronic devices, are we destroying our own internal memory?. New Statesman, (5302). 38

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