Question:Questions for Peer Review

. Avoid one word, yes or no answers. Elaborate on your answers.

1. Introduction: Does it capture the reader's attention and effectively lead up to the statement of the main idea? Does the main idea clearly take a stance on a particular issue?

2. Body: Does each paragraph begin with a transition, such as "First" or "Furthermore" or "Next" and etc? Are there clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph that sum up the main idea of the paragraph? Does the paragraph remain focused to this main idea? Look for any irrelevant information that should be cut.

3. Does the writer use sufficient evidence such as personal experience and observations to prove the major points? Find the areas that need more specific, detailed evidence to support the writer's points.

4. Is the essay convincing? Does it rely on a sound argument? Look for any logical fallacies that should be avoided.

5. What is the essay's biggest weakness overall?

6. What is the essay's greatest strength overall?

 

 

ESSAY

Within the past 30 years, zero-tolerance policies have been put into place at schools around the United States. These zero-tolerance policies require school administration to hand down harsh punishments to students breaking certain school rules. With this policy, students could easily find themselves expelled, suspended, or in jail. These zero-tolerance policies are meant to drive students toward success in the school setting, however, the policies are failing to fulfill their purpose. 

I have had personal experience with a zero-tolerance policy as a substitute teacher. One of my students said something of a threatening nature. The comment was suggestive of another person in the classroom dying. As the authority in the classroom, I was required to report the suggestive, threatening comment. After my report, this student lost valuable class time. The student missed out on that day's lesson, and received an F for the day's work. The student was also reported to the police. This story is an example of how the zero-tolerance policies are failing to fulfill their purposes.  

Zero-tolerance policies developed in the 1990's in response to school shootings, crime on school campuses, and the United States' Gun Free School Act of 1994. (Gjelten) During this same time, the "broken window" theory became popular with law enforcement. This theory suggested that by using harsher punishment for minor violations, more serious crimes could be prevented. This theory plays a large role in why the zero-tolerance policies cannot drive students to success. With zero-tolerance policies, serious offenses like bringing a gun or drug to school can result in expulsion. The policies are correct in handing out harsh punishment to serious offenders in school. The policies became problematic when schools starting extending the policies to include offenses that are not federal laws. With the zero-tolerance policies, a student can be expelled for bringing over the counter medication to school. A student can even receive harsh punishment for having any type of behavior that is disruptive to the school environment. These policies have indeed made schools safer, but they have also created a barrier between mischievous students and their success.

There is another name for this so-called "barrier", which is "School to Prison Pipeline". School to Prison Pipeline is ". . . the criminalization of school-based student misconduct that increases the chances that students - especially low-income students of color - will end up involved in the juvenile or criminal justice system." (Juvenile Law Center) The zero-tolerance policies created this pipeline by criminalizing students' whom have broken a school rule. It is not possible for students be successful in school if they are placed out of the school environment. Therefore, it is not possible for a student to be successful and contributive to the country if they have not been successful in their formative school years. If a student cannot be a contributing member of society, they are extremely likely to end up in jail or dependent on the government. In fact, 60% of all males in state and federal prison do not have a high school diploma (Amurao).

(statistical evidence paragraph)

Despite the evidence that zero-tolerance policies do not work the way they were intended, many schools still have the policies in place today. Schools still have these policies in place because it removes problematic students from their care. By removing problematic students from the school, a school's performance rating can go up. Schools also fuel this policy by employing School Resource Officers or SROs. These SROs can, by law, arrest a student at school and directly transport them to be booked into a jail or juvenile detention center. Instead of arguing for the cessation of these policies, experts are looking at alternative policies and ways they can improve existing policies. 

Zero-tolerance policies are detrimentally affecting American students' success not only in school but in their life. A student cannot achieve success when they are not allowed into a school.