Laudecir Magri
22391752
2816 21St Ave, Apt#2
Astoria, NY, 11105
Lyo.boston@gmail.com 250203 Page 1 Pass, Return for Revision or Fail
Pass Please note that any numerical grade indicated on this evaluation
will not be posted. This assignment will be graded as either Pass,
Return or Fail For a detailed explanation of the ratings, refer to
page 9-10 in your study guide. Skill
Realized X General Correctness:
-The writer used a spell checks and proofread the paper to
check for errors in word choice and typos.
-The paper is reasonably free of errors that interfere with a
reader’s ability to understand the content. X Format:
-The writer used the required font, line spacing and margins.
-The writer included the required information in the header at
the top of the paper. X Grade: return Date: 4/20/2017
Instructions for Classification and/or Division Essay: Return
Skill
Skill Not
Emerging
Shown
X Ideas and Content:
-The writer chose one of the assigned topics
-The writer included all the required introductory
information: a topic, background statement, and thesis
statement.
-The thesis statement makes a claim or takes a position on the
topic.
-The writer included at least 3 main points on the topic, with
at least three supporting elements for each. The main points
connect clearly to and support the thesis statement
-The writer’s conclusion reinforced the thesis statement.
the introduction shouldn’t be a paragraph long when it is in a
prewrite. Material was unclear in organization and content.
The organization of the categories and controlling traits were
not clear.
Organization:
-The writer used an outline or graphic organizer format for
this exam.
-The writer arranges the main points in a logical order to suit
the claim made in the thesis statement.
-The supporting elements provided for each main point are
relevant and adequately illustrate the classification and/or
division pattern of development for the chosen topic. Exam Number:250203 Skill
Developing Instructor: rjl Laudecir Magri
22391752
2816 21St Ave, Apt#2
Astoria, NY, 11105
Lyo.boston@gmail.com 250203 Page 2 PREWRITING: Classification and Division
TITLE: Tennessee is the Place to Go
INTRODUCTION:
Whether it is in the summer, winter, spring, or fall, vacationing is everyone’s favorite time of the
year. Individuals eagerly look forward to going to their favorite vacation spots every year,
sometimes more than once a year. People vacation for many reasons. Some might only take
vacations to visit long-distance family members and some might take vacations to get away from
their everyday life. However, for most people vacationing is a time for them to relax and enjoy
themselves. For individuals who want to enjoy the great outdoors or just relax while vacationing,
Tennessee is a great place to go. Tennessee is a state for outdoors enthusiasts, foods, sports fans,
music lovers, and fun seekers. They have some of the best barbecues one can ever eat. One can
get a cheap hotel or cabin rental and enjoy the beautiful scenery. One can even book a vacation
apartment or home and experience life as local in the home of rock, country, and blues.
THESIS: There are millions of places where they offer the best vacation environment but the Commented [RL1]: Who is THEY? best preferred places of visit is Tennessee because of the wildlife, fun sports and very fascination Commented [RL2]: Redundant. sceneries. Commented [RL3]: Remember what is your authority on
this matter? BODY PARAGRAPH 1:
Support; Wildlife Laudecir Magri
22391752
2816 21St Ave, Apt#2
Astoria, NY, 11105
Lyo.boston@gmail.com 250203 Page 3 Characteristic 1; There are individuals who have never seen animals with top speed nearing 30
miles per hour
Example; white tailed dear Formatted: Highlight Characteristic 2; Very few people know of animal that can change color except for a chameleon
Example; Black bears Commented [RL4]: Interesting fact. Add more
information to this so people don’t automatically think
you’re making it up. Characteristic 3; the famous and legendary birds that cover 75 mile stretch of a single river Commented [RL5]: This is not a characteristic Example; Sandhill cranes
BODY PARAGRAPH 2:
Support 2; Fun Spots
Characteristic 1; Imagine how a world covered by a range of fascinating birds would look like
Example; 409 species of birds Commented [RL6]: Is there a specific place to go bird
watching? Characteristic 2; the fun of watching how animals leave together and interact Commented [RL7]: Do you mean LIVE? Example; birds, mammals, amphibians, reptiles, and insects Commented [RL8]: Not a chaacteristic Characteristic 3; the excitement of fun sports continue in entertainment for the music lovers
Example; Pigeon Forge, TN - Dolly Parton's Dollywood Theme Park
BODY PARAGRAPH 3:
Support 3; Interesting sceneries Laudecir Magri
22391752
2816 21St Ave, Apt#2
Astoria, NY, 11105
Lyo.boston@gmail.com 250203 Page 4 Characteristic 1; How about surprises treat of fascinating facts about animals that people rarely
know
Example; squirrels Commented [RL9]: This has already been included
elsewhere. Characteristic 2; for hiking lovers, the hiking nature that Tennessee offers is amazing
Example; Gatlinburg, TN - the Great Smoky Mountains National Park
Characteristic 3; a place that accepts all ages and genders without discriminating black or white,
Mexican or Indian
Example; Grand Ole Opry Commented [RL10]: This isn’t really an adequate
characteristic. You say list that information there (accepting
others etc) but then you only mention the Grand Ole Opry.
This leaves the reader to wonder if the rest of the state
DOESN’T accept other people as openly as this venue does? Conclusion
Nothing comes close to the feeling that is evoked from observing wild animals especially when
one is expecting to experience a moment one cannot forget. It is the main reason why wildlife
vacations are so popular. Nature provides the best way to get away from everyday life. With the
many holiday locations available it can be difficult to pick one. European wildlife is hugely
underrated, but it is still as impressive as other location. Europeans do not have to travel far to
find a full wildlife experience. Tennessee is a great place to vacation because no matter what,
there will always be something there for every vacationer to do. Whether one wants to see bears
or birds, Tennessee offers a range of wildlife. Also, it is a beautiful place to elope with the love
of one's life. The scenery is gorgeous, the wildlife is thrilling, there are many activities to enjoy,
and it does not cost too much money. The region is also known for its exciting fun spots where
vacationers can visit and enjoy their adventure. Commented [RL11]: Tennessee is not in Europe. It in
North America. Why is Europe mentioned here?
Commented [RL12]: This aspect isn’t mentioned at all.
Commented [RL13]: What activities?
Commented [RL14]: You have a good start on this.
However there is some difficulty in categorizing the
material, and the characteristic/example set up.
The characteristic should be a trait of the category you are
looking at. Then there should be clear examples of that
category. For example. If one were to go to the grocery
store, the category would Dairy Foods. The characteristic
would be food that contains milk or is made from milk
products or milk replacements. Examples of that would be
cheese, milk, almond milk, yogurt, cottage cheese, ice
cream.
In this pre write, each paragraph should be a different
category.
this should be the set up throughout the pre write.
Additionally, be clear as to what the categories are and the
characteristics. There’s a few categories that seemed to
overlap or to be redundant. The animals, and wildlife, and
nature all seemed to overlap. It wasn’t clear what the
categories were. This includes some of the sports (that
include the bird mention).

 

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