Running head: EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONALCOMMUNICATION Effective Interpersonal Communication
Robert Robinette
Comm200: Interpersonal Communication
Instructor: Vanessa Holmes
June 12, 2017 1 Running head: EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONALCOMMUNICATION 2 Effective Interpersonal Communication
Congratulations on your recent engagement, and asking me for advice on the next
steps in building the foundation for spending you lives together. In the future, you will
become more familiar with each other. There will be good things and not so good things
revealed about yourselves and the families you came from you will need to address. You
must be able to celebrate every good moment you have together, and navigate the
slippery slopes and troubled waters of disagreement in a relationship that is transitioning
into a long-term situation. With that in mind, we will discuss the how to keep
communication working for you in your everyday relationship. As stated by Bevin and
Sole,(2014) Reflecting its roots, this text defines communication as a process where two
or more individuals strive to create shared meaning using verbal and nonverbal messages
in a variety of contexts.(para.2) You must become familiar with the principles of
successful interpersonal communication. You will learn identify the barriers to effective
interpersonal interactions. Understand and define the role of emotional intelligence as it
relates to your relationships. It is equally important evaluate the appropriate levels of selfdisclosure, and learn strategies for effective interpersonal communication and resolution
of interpersonal conflicts.
Explanation of the Principles of and Barriers to Effective Personal
Communication
“Interpersonal communication (IPC) is a unique type of communication that involves
two individuals interacting via face-to-face or mediated channels. This communication
involves the smallest number of communicators—two, also known as a dyad. It can be Running head: EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONALCOMMUNICATION 3 unplanned, such as when people unexpectedly meet, exchange greetings, and have an
impromptu conversation. It can also be planned, such as when two people arrange to sit down
for coffee at a certain time and place to talk about a problem. Interpersonal communication
can take place in an informal setting—a home, a yard, or a supermarket, for instance.
Interpersonal communication can also occur in a formal setting, such as an employer’s office
or a classroom. Interpersonal communication can even take place via mediated channels like
telephones, computers, or video cameras”. (Bevin and Sole, 2014,”What is Interpersonal
Communication?”para.1).
“Specifically, interpersonal communication is a social process, and we usually
communicate for one of three primary purposes: (1) to meet personal needs; (2) to learn
about other people, the world; and ourselves and (3) to build and maintain relationships with
others”. (Bevin and Sole, 2014, “Functions of Interpersonal Communication “, para.1).
We use communication constantly and we change our thoughts and opinions as we
sort through our interactions with others. A first meeting could be a last meeting depending
on how successful we thought the encounter was with the individual or individuals. In time,
we could end the relationships that we had considered close. Bevin and Sole, (2014).
“The most basic social need is the need to belong. Friendship, acceptance by others,
and the ability to both give and receive love are powerful needs for all humans, and they
drive much of our interpersonal communication. After we satisfy these needs, we are then
motivated to fulfill esteem needs, such as the need for recognition, the pride of
accomplishment, and the satisfaction of self-respect”. (Bevin and Sole, 2014,” Meeting
Personal Needs”para.2). Running head: EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONALCOMMUNICATION 4 Interpersonal communication is an integral component of building and maintaining these
relationships; quite simply, a close relationship cannot begin or continue to exist without
interpersonal communication”. Bevin and Sole, 2014, (Building and Maintaining Relationships
“).
Barriers to Effective Personal Communication.
Interpersonal communication has challenges as well. When the frequency of these
occurrences begins to increase, the individuals involved have a decreased chance to share
a similar understanding with each other Bevan and Sole, (2014).
The first and most frequent and widespread challenge of interpersonal
communication we will discuss is misperception. You may not receive the message as the
sender conveyed it. The result is a conflict occurs that will need resolution. In a more
professional environment, people could have their careers put in jeopardy and individuals
could have their health compromised.
Both parties were not careful to acknowledge the possibility of misperception because of
the topic of conversation. To assume everyone understands a subject at the same level is
an open door to misperception and conflict. Bevin and Sole, (2014).
The next challenge could be a long distance relationship. “Long-distant
relationships can take many forms, including romantic, friendship, or familial, and individuals can play a variety of roles in these LDRs, such as providing social support,
resources, and care (Bevan & Sparks, 2011). You likely are in at least one long-distance
relationship right now”. Because of school, a job, the military, or even because you
moved to be with a spouse or closer to your elderly parents”. (Bevan and Sole
2014,”Long-Distance Relationships”para.1). Running head: EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONALCOMMUNICATION 5 With changing job markets and global opportunities to work anywhere in the
world you could possibly be faced with the decision of being apart for a time at some
point in the future.
This will be a life-changing event. If you take the right attitude, you can survive
and even grow with the challenge of physical separation. This will be a serious decision,
as it requires a lot of faith and trust in each other. The monthly bills still have to be paid
and the children have to go to school. These are all considerations, not impossibilities.
Another challenge we will bring up is the challenge of Intergenerational
communication. When you marry into a family, you are going to have to deal with
situations that will arise because of the blending of the family’s. Just wait until the
holidays and you will understand completely. “Members of a particular generation, such
as Baby Boomers or Gen Xers, experience similar social trends, historical events,
political and social occurrences, and technological advances that shape their individual
perspectives and views about the world (Myers & Davis, 2012). “Members of different
generations who interact with one another are likely to approach the same situation or
event in very different ways, creating an intergenerational communication challenge
(Myers & Davis, 2012). Hummert (2012) presents three associations between life stage or
age and communication that may prompt intergenerational communication problems”.
(Bevan and Sole, 2014”Increase in Intergenerational Relationships”, para.1) Family and
generations of advice is one of the things that will take lots of love and understanding.
The family and associated groups and affiliations that come with every generation on
both sides is part of the deal in all relationships. You could find yourself taking
Grandmothers to Bingo or Dads to the Elks lodge for example. The personalities and
advice are in abundance. Deciding what to use and ignore is up to you as a couple. The Running head: EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONALCOMMUNICATION 6 love and good intentions are there most of the time. There are challenges but it has been
my experience to have shared great times and good memories over the years. Older
people are living longer and starting to use technology so that will help you find common
ground. Share pictures of events and recipes with them. They will give a lot more back to
you. Bevin and Sole (2014). “A better understanding of interpersonal communication can
improve how we relate to others in interpersonal relationships” (Bevan and Sole,
2014”Understanding the Difficulty in Forming and Maintaining Relationships “para.1).
The need for empathy, respect and making an effort to be the best you can in every
relationship is paramount with the rising divorce rates and general disconnect with others
that people are experiencing today. Older people who remarry after a divorce tend to drag
the same baggage into the next relationship. (Brown & Lin, 2012), argued that “many of
the recent gray divorces are remarriages, which the researchers note are often burdened
by communication issues such as stepchildren relationships, money and wills, and
healthcare issues and decisions ,“(as quoted by Bevin and Sole,2014). These situations or
life events will influence your everyday lives as couple. You must make sure you do not
avoid issues and communicate daily to each other.
Sometimes you can effectively communicate negative things to your partner with
body language and facial expressions than if you were to talk. According to Preston
(2005), “While we are busy with the conscious content of our communication, the
unconscious can be working for or against us” (para. 2). It is abundantly clear sometimes
when couples are having issues by the way they are looking at each other. There could be
hand gestures on occasion that give a good indication of how the rest of the day will go
for them. It can be positive as well but I would be remiss if I did not include it when
mentioning divorce and difficulty in maintaining a relationship. Running head: EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONALCOMMUNICATION 7 Analysis of the role of Communication in Developing One’s Self-Concept, SelfImage, and Self-Esteem
Self- Concept
We want to talk about how you are creating your daily life as an individual.
“Social scientists use many terms such as self-concept, self-image, and self-esteem to
describe your “self.” Intrapersonal communication refers to the internal communication
within and to yourself. (Bevin and Sole, 2014 “Introduction”para.1) “Your self-concept is
learned; it is organized, it is dynamic, and it is changeable over time “(Purkey, 1988).
“You construct this sense of self through communication with yourself and with others—
by what you tell yourself and what others tell you about yourself. In other words, your
self-concept is first externally imposed by others and then internally incorporated in your
thoughts, feelings, actions, and communication” (Bevin and Sole, 2014”How SelfConcept Is Created”para.2). Your concept of self is up to you as an individual. You do not
have to agree with what someone else is stating about you. You have to keep learning and
experiencing on your journey. Being stuck in a negative situation is only temporary. Life
goes on and better days are ahead for you. The biggest mistake you can make is to
believe the lie that you are not worth anything. The next lie is nothing is going to change.
“How you evaluate your skills and abilities, how you perceive objects and situations in the world, your values, your vocabulary, and your ability to use language all influence
how you communicate. Though self-concept is an internal process, it is learned,
maintained, and can change through interpersonal communication” (Bevin and Sole,
2014,”How Self- Concept Is Created”para.5). Now that we have an understanding of selfconcept, we can move on. Running head: EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONALCOMMUNICATION 8 Self-Image
The next important thing you need to develop or maintain is a healthy self –
image. Bailey argued, “Your self-image is more permanent than your self-concept; it is
the combination of both your internal view of yourself and the evaluation of others, as
well as your physical appearance, and the integration of your experiences, desires, and
feelings” (as quoted in Bevan and Sole, 2014).We are now dealing with self-image as it is
presently. Time, circumstances and life events that have happened to you growing up
(whether positive or negative); have made an impact on you. The information you have
processed and made decisions about what you think of yourself as an individual. How
you see yourself when you look in the mirror touches every single part of your life and
relationships. If you have a negative self-image, it is present in your relationships and in
your communication daily. It takes time and effort but you can make positive changes
because this is not a permanent situation. (Bevin and Sole, 2014). “As you age, every
stage of your life is thus associated with changes, but you can learn to accept these
changes and to develop a healthy view of yourself. If you have a negative self-image, you
can learn to develop a more accurate view of yourself (Cleveland Clinic, 2009). A
positive self-image begins by accepting and loving yourself and allowing yourself to be
accepted and loved by others”. (Bevin and Sole, 2014”Self-Image”para.8) Self-Esteem
How do you see your world today? Are you a half-full or empty person in your
point of view? How do your moods change as you go through your day? To understand Running head: EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONALCOMMUNICATION 9 the importance of self-esteem as a couple and to have a quality and balanced relationship
with each other is critical. “Self-esteem consists of your broad sense of self-worth and the
level of satisfaction you have with yourself; it is how you evaluate and judge yourself
.Crocker & Wolfe argued, “a good self-image is associated with increased self-esteem; a
poor self-image often is linked to poor self-esteem, lack of confidence, and insecurity.
Some researchers argue that self-esteem is central to how we view the world and to our
quality of life, indicating the importance of this aspect of self “(as quoted by Bevan and
Sole, 2014). You will both have to make the effort to show your commitment and
approval in building this relationship to keep self –esteem at a good level. According to
authors Markus, H, & Wurf, E. (1987) “a person’s behavior is driven by many other
factors other than self-concept, the influence of self-concept will not always be shown in
one’s actions, as a consequence it will show in one’s self-esteem and cause mood changes
as well as how they interact with the world around them” (p. 300).
Illustrate the Importance of Self-Disclosure and Emotional Intelligence in Various
Relationships
Your relationship will have moments of self- disclosure and depending what
information you have already revealed or concealed it could be a deal breaker if the other
person chooses not to accept the information you have disclosed. Wheeless argued,” that
you cannot form or maintain authentic relationships without self-disclosure” (as quoted in
Bevan and Sole, 2014). The intentional act of sharing private and personal aspects of you
with other people is called self-disclosure” (Wheeless, 1978). This definition of selfdisclosure specifies the type of information that is catalogued under self-disclosure.
According to this definition, basic information about you, such as your name, biological Running head: EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONALCOMMUNICATION 10 sex, or age, would not be classified as self-disclosure because this type of information is
relatively easy to find or observe. Lawrence Wheeless’s (1978) definition of selfdisclosure refers to information that is private and would likely not be revealed by anyone
other than you. Self-disclosure from this perspective is thus an intentional choice (Bevan
and Sole, 2014”Self-Disclosure and Relationship Development para.1). You have to build
trust with others as you work on you relationship with your partner and with others.
Revealing too much information to people you do not know well could have
repercussions if they decide to use the information in a negative way. This is risk
management in relationships. Only you can decide by your interactions what you are
going to share or keep to yourself. You could find common ground or a land mine.
(Bevan and Sole 2014). Emotional Intelligence
The days will quickly turn weeks and weeks into months. If you are truly engaged
in your committed relationship with your partner, you will start developing skills and get
real sense of how they are doing emotionally. How you can support them without being
too “over the top” and making a bigger deal out of situations is learned by practice or trial
and sometimes error. According to Michelle Pence and Andrea Vickery (2012), being
able to listen in an active-empathic way is positively related to having emotional
intelligence, which involves the ability to monitor, regulate, and discriminate among your
own and your partner’s feelings in order to guide your thoughts and actions (Salovey &
Mayer, 1990).(Bevan and Sole2014, “Expressing Empathy”para.6). The other benefits of Running head: EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONALCOMMUNICATION 11 being emotionally intelligent and socially supportive is it helps you and your partner
remain healthy or recover from possible health issues quickly.
Evaluate Strategies for Using Communication
Techniques to resolve Interpersonal Conflicts
You need to look at how to improve communication with each other when life’s
challenges arise and the emotions are beginning to take over control of the speaker. You need to
consider your partner and ask what made them bring up the subject in the first place. Would it be
better to bring up the subject in a more appropriate setting? You can make statements about how
you are feeling about your present situation an avoid judgement. (Bevan and Sole, 2014).
It is important to remember that conflict is natural and bound to occur in any relationship.
Instead of always avoiding or aggressively entering into conflict, try to manage or resolve your
differences as competently and constructively as possible. Use the following techniques to help
develop this skill: Identify and encourage positive emotions. Understand and strengthen your interpersonal communication skills. Monitor and modify your behaviors. Recognize and acknowledge when a conflict might not be resolvable. (Bevan and Sole 2014, “Improve Your Conflict Management Skills”para.1). Analyze the Impact of Gender and Culture on Interpersonal Relationships
Like biological sex, we all possess a particular gender orientation. Gender orientation
should not be considered as on a continuum, with masculinity and femininity at each extreme Running head: EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONALCOMMUNICATION 12 and androgyny at the midpoint. Instead, each gender orientation is an individual construct or
dimension (Bevan and Sole, 2014”Gender Oreintation”para.1).
According to Bevan and Sole, (2014), unlike biological sex, which is physiologically
determined, gender orientation is a social construction based upon a combination of several
different individual, societal, and relational factors that is uniquely related to behavior (Stephen
& Harrison, 1985). An androgynous individual, who possesses aspects of both masculine and
feminine gender orientations, could have more satisfying relationships than either masculine or
feminine individuals because he or she has the advantage of being able to employ both communication styles with some degree of skill (Ickes, 1985). “Androgynous individuals also are best
able to adapt and be flexible, as well as focus on and be positive toward others, during
interpersonal interactions” (Wheeless & Duran, 1982). According to Cynthia Burggraf Torppa,
Ph.D. (2010), “societal desires regularly make that Men and women have to be viewed as
different, and while including how each were brought up in various societies that has a
considerably more effect on the distinctions. How they speak, with others all goes with how they
were brought up in their way of life and how they have figured out how to work consistently.”
Overall, we must be cautious about attributing communication differences solely to biological
sex or even gender orientation. However, when you communicate across gender lines, keep in
mind that, like culture, socialized gender roles or orientation may slightly predispose women and
men to interpret messages differently in certain circumstances. As you have learned thus far in
this text, in interpersonal communication, it is important to check your perceptions with the other
person to determine if he or she interprets a message in the same way that you do(Bevan and
Sole,2014”Different Cultures versus Gender Similarities Hypothesis” para.4).
“According to Cynthia Burggraf Torppa, Ph.D. (2010), societal desires regularly make
ladies in charge of controlling closeness, or how close they enable others to come. Therefore, it is Running head: EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONALCOMMUNICATION 13 contended that ladies give careful consideration than men to the fundamental implications about
closeness that messages suggest" (para.1).
Gregorio Billikopf (2012) states, “that both men and ladies report having familiarity with
whether they touch others when they talk. Indeed, even men, as opposed to ladies, appear to be
more discerning of their conduct” (para.6).
Despite the facts that many will deny. Men and women are stereotyped because of their
gender. It is assumed that men might be the ones to have a superior influential position since they
are manlier and that they are not tuned to emotions despite the fact that this plainly is not the
reality of the situation. Men and women can both be looked at as a similar concerning
interpersonal communications. You must agree together as a couple that you both assume critical
parts about communicating with each other. One person does not over power the other in view of
their sexual orientation. Keeping in mind that both are equivalents and the relationship should be
based upon this. Running head: EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONALCOMMUNICATION 14 In conclusion, individuals should learn the principles of effective interpersonal
communications; identify the barriers to effective interpersonal interactions. Take time to define
the role of emotional intelligence in your relationship. Define what are the acceptable levels of
self-disclosure in relationships, and learn and improve strategies for managing interpersonal
conflicts to effectively use interpersonal communication in their relationship.(Bevan and
Sole,2014) By focusing on the principles of effective interpersonal communications, couples
who recognize these principals and apply them every day will become effective communicators.
If the barriers of interpersonal interactions continue to be ignored, they can cause health issues
and psychological damage. While emotional intelligence can determine how people interact with
others, it can also allow them to handle the emotional obstacles of effective interpersonal
communication in a healthy way. The level of self-disclosure one gives is proportionate to the
level of trust in the relationship. When couples have strategies for any unforeseen conflict
situations they are able to better manage conflicts when they occur. Happy, lasting relationships
are built by using the outcomes of these principles. (Bevin and Sole, 2014). Running head: EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONALCOMMUNICATION 15 References
Bevan, J.L. & Sole, K. (2014). Making connections: Understanding interpersonal communication
(2nd ed.) Retrieved from:
https://content.ashford.edu/books/AUCOM200.14.1/sections/sec1.2?search=
%20effective%20interpersonal%20communications#w4502
Billikopf, G., (2012). Gender and Culture Communication Differences. Retrieved from:
http://www.mediate.com/articles/BillikopfG3.cfm
Markus, H., & Wurf, E. (1987). The Dynamic Self-Concept: A Social Psychological Perspective.
Annual Review of Psychology, 38(1), 299-337
Preston, P. (2005). Nonverbal Communication: Do You Really Say What You Mean? Journal of
Healthcare Management, 50(2), 83-86.
Torppa, C.B., (2010). Gender Issues: Communication Differences in Interpersonal Relationships.
Retrieved from: http://ohioline.osu.edu/factsheet/FLM-FS-4-02-R10

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