Here is a link to a template what the required structure is:
http://facweb.northseattle.edu/mtenenba/eng101/Assignments/Re
view%20Structure.docx
This structure is like a map for your essay. Your review should
follow it exactly.
Attached is a page with comments that show how you can use
your topic to and review it in this structure.
Your current essay is a wonderful description of the ceremony,
but it does not review the topic according to the assignment
requirements.
I hope this is helpful! The revision is due on Monday, so maybe
you have a little time to work on it some more. Interesting and Meaningful Title for
Essay First Paragraph Here is a vivid scene or image or anecdote that illustrates the item you are reviewin
might include description or dialogue or a short narrative or all of these.
Here is a sentence or two that transitions from the previous image or anecdote or scene
thesis. The last sentence of the first paragraph is the thesis sentence, which makes a claim abou
well your item meets the requirements for the ideal of a thing in its category. There are
three choices: your item either meets the requirements perfectly, imperfectly, or not at a
Sample template: My __(item)___ is ___(great, not great, or sort of great) _____ becau
____(does, does not, or partially does)_____ meet all the requirements for my ideal item
kind. Second Paragraph This paragraph finds a graceful and interesting way to introduce the criteria that are
essential for an item of this kind. Discuss them in an order that is meaningful: most to le
important, least to most important, etc. Let’s call that order A, B, C, D, E. Third Paragraph Here is a topic sentence that says how well your item meets criterion A. For examp
item fully accomplishes A.” Use keywords from your thesis and/or from your wording
paragraph 2 about this criterion. Illustrate the point in the topic sentence with examples, descriptions, anecdotes, scenes,
dialogue, stories of your experience, etc. If this paragraph has been very long or the criterion is very complex, it may need a clos
sentence to summarize what’s been said or put it in context. Shorter paragraphs probabl
need this. Fourth Paragraph (and fifth, sixth, seventh, eighth, depending on how many criteria you have and how mu
have to say about them)
In this and the next several paragraphs, repeat the third paragraph pattern for your o
criteria, B, C, D, and E. These paragraphs are in the same order the criteria are presente
paragraph 2. Possible exceptions to this order: Some criteria might take a long time to discuss—your
examples might be lengthy; in that case, the discussion of one criterion might take more
one paragraph. Also, if you’re using dialogue, you’ll have to start a new paragraph each
the speaker changes, because that’s how dialogue is formatted. Counterargument 1 Present the first counterargument and make your answer or accommodations to it. P
disagree with either your criteria for evaluating the item or with your evaluation of the i Continue this pattern for as many counterarguments as you have. There are no specific
how many you have to have. Imagine some reasonable readers analyzing your argumen
questions or objections you predict they would have. Counterargument 2
Present the next counterargument and make your answer or accommodations to it. Counterargument 3
Present the next counterargument and make your answer or accommodations to it. Revisiting the Thesis This paragraph re-considers the thesis as it was written at the end of the first paragr
some adjustments to it. After all the discussion that has come before, it might be expand
some way. You might want to add more becauses or buts or ifs or ands or maybes for a
your thesis in all its complexity. Building toward the Close, and Closing This ending considers the extensions of your idea. The following questions can hel
important? How does it relate to other things—both in your life and perhaps in others’ l
matters about it? What do we learn from having analyzed the topic in this way? Remember the three things Trimble tells us closer should do: 1) Revisit the thesis (You’
that in the paragraph above, so no need to repeat that here unless you have more to add)
new twist or angle or expansion; and 3) add emotional punch, or some sort of mood or
emotional punch could involve sensory imagery or a re-visiting of the opening scene of
may think of another way—look at the “Logos, Ethos, Pathos” sheet for a reminder of t
in a piece of writing.

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