Persuasive Essay Final Draft

Listed below are some suggestions from my professor from the attached persuasive essay rough draft that was completed by you.  Please review this suggestions before you complete this assignment for the Persuasive Essay Final Draft.

 

I enjoyed reading your persuasive essay rough draft. You've got a good start here that, through the process of revision, could be developed into a strong paper. I have a few suggestions to help guide the revision process, but it is by no means a complete list. The best tools for revision are your perspective, time, and patience.•&νβσπ;&νβσπ;&νβσπ;&νβσπ;&νβσπ;&νβσπ;&νβσπ;&νβσπ;

 

My first suggestion would be to work on developing your thesis and the focus of the paper. Your topic here is interesting, and there seems to be a lot of potential here; however, the focus is not entirely clear. The definition you've created of child labor here seems relatively indefensible (as no one can be logically for treating children inhumanely). You need to work on reframing your argument so that it is more argumentative in nature. Perhaps being more specific and focused would help. Once you have this focus, the rest of the paper should be functioning to support that argument. Also, don't forget to include a clear thesis statement that establishes exactly what your argument is. This can be done as simply as "Child labor laws need to be changed to not allow children under 16 to work because X, Y, and Z." (or whatever it is you want to argue, I'm just throwing that out as an example)

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My second suggestion would be to work on the structure of your paragraphs. Every paragraph should, in some way, be functioning to support your argument. Each paragraph should make one supporting point. If a paragraph seems to be bringing up more than one point, there is a good chance it needs to be broken up. A paragraph should be structured a lot like a mini essay, with a clear introduction (a topic sentence that introduces the main point of that paragraph), a body (the support/evidence for that main point), and a conclusion (a discussion of that support and main point and how it all ties in with the overall argument/thesis of the paper). It is important to always connect each paragraph to your overall argument, as it is never a safe bet that the reader will make the connection you intend them to.

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My third suggestion would be to work on integrating your outside sources into your paper. Although there are several sources in your works cited page, only a couple seem to be actually used in the essay (and, oddly enough, they are only tied to the opposing viewpoint and its refutation). It is important to clearly differentiate between your words and the words/ideas of your sources. This can be done through attributive tags/signal phrases, direct quotes/paraphrased passages, and in-text citations. Here is a link to help with this: https://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/560/02/

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My fourth suggestion would be to work on addressing the opposing viewpoint. A big part of writing persuasively is to make sure that you are addressing the opposing viewpoint (after all, the heart of a good argument is two logical opposing viewpoints). It is important to address the opposing viewpoint (with at least one source for support) in order to show the reader that you have considered both sides of the issue. Right now, the opposing side isn't actually being supported by any of the evidence you've brought in. This also provides you with the opportunity to refute this side and show why your argument is the stronger of the two.

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My final suggestion would be to make sure to carefully proofread. There are some sentence level issues throughout. Watch out for these! I recommend reading papers out loud and listening for sentences that sound strange. Chances are, those are the places you might consider reworking.

 

Below are the directions for this assignment.  This assignmet calls for the revision of the Persuasive Rough Draft that is attached and was completed by you.

 

This essay explores the persuasive mode, one of the more common kinds of writing you'll experience throughout your college and professional career. Your goal is to persuade your audience to consider your position on a controversial subject. Understand, there is seldom a definitive right or wrong answer in anything. You should anticipate the real possibility that some of your readers will not initially agree with you on your stance. Part of this essay requires that you take opposing viewpoints into consideration when making your argument. By truthfully representing the strengths of your opponent's point of view, you show that you have considered more than one option when making your decision. This gives you more clout with your audience.

 

Criteria

The final draft of your essay should contain the following basic features:

• A well-defined issue that is controversial by nature
• A clear thesis statement that demonstrates the position you will be taking throughout this essay
• A treatment of at least three reputable sources, at least one drawn from the EBSCO database, and at least one of them supporting your claim
• A counter argument with at least one credible source defending the opposing viewpoint
• A refutation to or compromise with the counter argument

In addition to the above, the final draft of your essay should be:

• From 900 to 1200 words in length, typed in Times New Roman, 12pt. font, double-spaced, with one inch margins
• Written primarily in third person
• Edited for spelling, mechanical, grammatical, and typing errors 

 

Note: This assignment calls for a revision of your W6 Persuasive Rough Draft, not a new essay on a different topic. Your revision must show significant effort to "re-see" your work. While you should also edit your paper, editing alone is not revision.

• 1499392060-persuasive essay rough draft.docx

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Status NEW Posted 07 Jul 2017 01:07 AM My Price 20.00

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