AccountingQueen
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Introduction: Being a pastor’s daughter is a challenging job becoming and staying as a Christian, dealing what others may think of me, being myself, becoming a young lady, becoming a praise and worship leader, and always being busy. Its hard balancing out church, work, and school all in one. I feel as though all three things are important in life. One thing that I have done all my life as a little kid is singing and dancing in church, I am a humble person that likes to sit back and observe everything and everybody. I have to be a part of every church event that we may have.
State your attention grabber:
The challenging stages I went through growing up as a pastor’s daughter.
State your thesis:
Through this challenging job, I have become a praise and worship leader. I have young ladies looking up to me.
Body paragraph 1:
Being a Christian as a kid is all I knew since I can remember. I went to church every Wednesday, Saturday, and Sunday. I enjoyed church as a kid. I mainly enjoyed the music. I love to sing and dance. My parents always took us to Sunday school every Sunday morning. My mother taught the young adult and my aunt taught the babies. My parents always taught me the bible and we lived by it.
State your topic sentence:
Becoming and staying as a Christian.
Summarize your evidence/examples:
Everything that my parents told me stayed with me.
Body paragraph 2:
As a pastor kid in school, people thought I was rich. I told them my how my parents work. I explained to them how the money of the church is to pay bills. My peers would say “You can have fun” I can have fun with God on my side. I thought I was missing out on somethings. I had to remember where I came from and how my parents raised me. I had to remember all the things they told me about being a Christian. There were things I could not do because I was a leader. As time progress, so did I.
State your topic sentence:
Dealing with what others may think of me.
Summarize your evidence/examples:
It’s not always what it looks like. Looking from the outside judging.
Body paragraph 3:
Being myself is what made me who I am today. My parents have a lot to do with that. They taught me right from wrong. They told me I was a prize and treasure. They taught me to get a leader and not a follower. They taught to be a young lady. I am very confident about myself. I spoke highly of myself. I have high self-esteem. It takes a lot to break me and to get me mad. I don’t let no one bring me down. I will try to bring you up to my level to give you some of my happiness that I have.
State your topic sentence:
Being myself
Summarize your evidence/examples:
Being treated like a queen. And feeling like I am worth something.
Body paragraph 4:
As time progress, grew mentally, spiritually, and mentally. I was raised to be treated like a queen. I have three older brothers that treat me like a princess. My father treats me like a queen. I am the only girl. I get what I want and when I want. Everybody knows this about me. But my father and brothers shows me how a lady supposed to be treated. They hold the door open for me, they would pay for my things, they would help me. I have high standards for dating to marry. I am waiting until marriage for everything.
State your topic sentence:
Becoming a lady.
Summarize your evidence/examples:
Being what I was taught as a young lady should be.
Body paragraph 5:
My role model was the former praise a worship leader at the church. I looked to her. I always wanted to sing on stage, but I didn’t know how it was going to be done. One day my parents pulled me to the side and asked me “do you want to be the praise and worship leader?”. My response was no. they begin to tell me how much I was going to get paid. I still said no. Those were some big shoes to fill in. August of this year, I saw my role model and she saw me in action on stage. She was very surprised. I told her how she was my role model. She was telling me how I filled in those shoes and left her. That made me feel so great on the inside.
State your topic sentence:
Becoming a praise and worship leader.
Summarize your evidence/examples:
Being what God called me to do. And being what I always wanted to be.
Conclusion
Overall, my life may have been busy. I was still able to include work and school. I have practice every Saturday, Wednesday night bible study and Sunday morning service and sometime Sunday evening service. I work Monday through Friday 9am to 6pm. I have homework every Thursday, Monday and sometime Tuesday. It’s good to be busy because when it’s time to rest, I will have accomplished a lot.
Transition word:
Overall
How purpose is reemphasized:
All of these things I went through and still going through made me and not break me. God gives his hardest battle to his strongest people. I am a strong person. I was born and raised in church. I am still in church, loving it to the fullest.
Locate two gaps in the outline where you need to make connections more clear. See “Is the Paper Coherent?” in Chapter 9, Section 2 of your textbook.
1. Being a Christian. I need to go in details.
2. Dealing with what others may think of me. I need to go in details and paint a picture for the reader.
How can I make my essay more organized? List two ideas.
1. I need to put everything in order of how it happen and how it all ties together. Transiting from one topic to the next.
2. I need to brainstorm some more things that will help me be open to more ideas. And I need to read out loud.
Where can I add more content? List two ideas. Describe what you might add.
1. More details on what was said. By including the (“”) marks.
2. How things were said. Use more advance words.
List 3 to 5 instructions for improvement provided by your instructor on your week 1 practice essay that would also helpful as you revise your week 3 draft.
1. Indent anytime I start a new paragraph.
2. Always proofread.
3. Subject-verb agreement. I need help on that.
4.
5.
List 1 to 3 specific suggestions for improvement provided by your peers from your week 3 draft that you wish to address.
1. Proofread/read out loud.
2. Revising somethings.
3. Rewrite my essay. Every time I rewrite, I get more ideas on things.