absolutely no plagiarism !!!

Assignment One

ASSIGNMENT I.                        Email Revision.                                         Due to SafeAssign before class on

                                                                                                                       Tuesday, April 12th

This first paper will expect the student to revise a poorly written (and, where appropriate, redacted/altered) email, one that was actually recently written within a medium sized company.  Students will be expected to apply the skills conveyed through lecture and the assigned texts to revise and rewrite, within a certain set of parameters, the email that is under consideration.  Lecture, discussion, UWP writing sessions (mandatory), and the Lanham will be particularly germane to this assignment. 

This first assignment is the briefest of the lot and requires no oral presentation.

Context and Scenario:  A friend of yours, Miguel, has heard that you are a strong writer, and he seeks your counsel regarding an email he needs to send.  Miguel has learned from co-workers like Milton how important clear communication is.  Being the generous person you are and are known to be (you have cultivated something of a reputation for this), you have agreed to help your friend Miguel write that email.  Miguel explains that he wants to write his supervisor (Lauren Alvarez) because he has some ideas he would like to discuss in a meeting.  The recommendations are important and could benefit everyone involved, but they are not all equally important. 

Decide what ideas you think are most important to include in the letter, and then decide which ideas are best to omit.  Rely heavily on the Paramedic Method, Sentence Shapes, Voices of Authority, and the Economics of Attention.  In other words, consider the Lanham carefully as you reconstruct what you believe to be the most essential parts of the letter.  You need not, nor should you, retain all parts of the letter;  in other words, use your best judgment -- that is, evaluation -- to cut anything you feel is superfluous or even harmful in the communication event.  Heavily editing, adding, and revising the remaining portions of the letter is also expected.  Finally, frame the letter in an appropriate manner for the context, one that lowers the Lard Factor and articulately delivers the message in a professional way.  Tone is particularly important with emails, so consider diction and approach carefully.  Please note:  you are expected to use some form of coordination or subordination.  Actively varying sentence structure is an expectation of the assignment.

 

Create a hard copy of your message, but present it as though it were an email.  This first assignment will be formatted as though it were an email, but you should include your name, your TAʼs name, and the date as a header before you begin the email format.  A subject line should be present in the fictional email and should signal the beginning of the email.  This assignment (one to two pages) is due before class on January 19th.  While the syllabus stipulates that the assignment must be at least 250 words, you have license to use fewer words if you think you can communicate effectively in a briefer format.  What follows below is a first (and very poor) draft of the email Miguel initially jotted down.

Subject Heading for Email:  Items that Must Be Considered at the Next Meeting

Dear Ms. Lauren Alvarez,

Thanks for reading this message!

I realize you are busy, so I will make this quick.

In regards to our meeting, I know you want to meet on Monday, October 20th.  That day is really bad.  Iʼm afraid Iʼm very busy, and Iʼm sure you are to so letʼs find another day.  I have a number of reports that are due on the 20th, and I need to fulfill my responsibilities regarding those reports.  Simply put, I can meet on the 22nd, so letʼs make that the date if you are OK with it.

When we meet, I would like to discuss some problems at Tech Shield.  Here are some ideas we could discuss:

1)      We are not paid enough because of all the budget strain and the expenses we    incur

2)      We never get to wear Hawaiian shirts

3)      There is a gender imbalance in the work force

4)      Promotions have been based on nepotism

5)      The company requires us to work well above fifty (50) hours a week.

6)      There is no opportunity for advancement

7)      I am frequently asked to work on short notice

8)      I am expected to travel every other week (and this everyone thinks is unnecessary)

We have done really well this year, and I think discussing these ideas could further help the company.  We managed to curb expenses at Tech-Shield by installing auto-sensors for the lights, encouraging ride-sharing programs, and introducing a day care to help address the expectation of longer hours. 

These ideas really worked.

But wait, I have more ideas to address the problems (see numbered problems above).  We should stop hiring relatives (like the current CEOʼs nephew) and I think Fridays should be casual days.  Scheduling is always a challenge, but perhaps meetings that coordinate travel expectations and additional hours might benefit all and eliminate miscommunication.  We could have flex weeks -- something you may not have considered.  Instead of fifty hour weeks, we could have employees alternate hours for each week.  Some employees who had more time on a particular week could work more hours on that particular week and then work less on the following week.  Everybody wins and nobody loses.  We could add more employees -- like a lot more employees. 

We could inform all of the employees about the daycare facilities and promote them.  We already have these facilities, so there would be only a negligible affect on the budget.  We could be more efficient by not training people to do new jobs.

I hope you will understand and appreciate all of these ideas. 

Regards,

Miguel Wilkens

Technical Analyst

 

Attachments:

• 1502989980-20160410062232prompt.pptx