SophiaPretty

(5)

$14/per page/Negotiable

About SophiaPretty

Levels Tought:
Elementary,Middle School,High School,College,University,PHD

Expertise:
Accounting,Algebra See all
Accounting,Algebra,Applied Sciences,Architecture and Design,Art & Design,Biology,Business & Finance,Calculus,Chemistry,Communications,Computer Science,Economics,Engineering,English,Environmental science,Essay writing Hide all
Teaching Since: Jul 2017
Last Sign in: 341 Weeks Ago
Questions Answered: 15833
Tutorials Posted: 15827

Education

  • MBA,PHD, Juris Doctor
    Strayer,Devery,Harvard University
    Mar-1995 - Mar-2002

Experience

  • Manager Planning
    WalMart
    Mar-2001 - Feb-2009

Category > Art & Design Posted 07 Aug 2017 My Price 6.00

Here are the instructor comments..so fix all these things below

Need revision on rough draft.

Here are the instructor comments..so fix all these things below

You have the right idea for the essay, but it still needs a lot of work.

In the first sentence, it's unclear what "it" stands for.  Since the beginning of what? through what? (This is a problem in the whole essay - you use "it" a lot, but it's rarely clear what "it" refers to).

Also, you have a citation at the end of the first sentence, but I can't tell what in that first sentence is actually from the source.  

You need to do more to identify your sources and to identify what comes from each source, as well as establish the credentials/credibility of each source.

Overall, the sources need to be tied more closely together - take some time to compare, contrast, and draw connections between sources.

Also make sure to do some serious proofreading.

SEE ATTACHED ..check grading curriculum

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SophiaPretty
(5)
Status NEW Posted 07 Aug 2017 12:08 PM My Price 6.00

----------- He-----------llo----------- Si-----------r/M-----------ada-----------m -----------Tha-----------nk -----------you----------- fo-----------r y-----------our----------- in-----------ter-----------est----------- an-----------d b-----------uyi-----------ng -----------my -----------pos-----------ted----------- so-----------lut-----------ion-----------. P-----------lea-----------se -----------pin-----------g m-----------e o-----------n c-----------hat----------- I -----------am -----------onl-----------ine----------- or----------- in-----------box----------- me----------- a -----------mes-----------sag-----------e I----------- wi-----------ll -----------be -----------qui-----------ckl-----------y

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