Tutor Response Form

Your tutor has written overview comments about your essay in the form below. Your tutor has also embedded comments [in bold and in brackets] within your essay. Thank you for choosing us to help you improve your writing!

Hello, Shivam! My name is Elizabeth A., I look forward to working with you on this Write Check Standard Essay Review to improve your writing today. Let's get started!

*Writing Strength: 
Both of your papers seem to be organized well, allowing your readers a smooth guide through your papers.

Main Idea/Thesis: 
Shivan, let your readers know what your essay’s supporting details are along with your main idea by providing clear and specific details in your thesis statement. This is what you currently have: “This paper discusses the event that initiated the boycott on December 1, 1955, after seamstress Rosa Parks declined to vacate her seat on the city bus and presents an argument of why the boycott of Montgomery’s buses succeeded.” To better prepare your readers for your essay’s content, you will want to provide an effective, informative thesis statement which includes your supporting details that your cover in your body paragraphs.

I included several sentences from your essay below to help trigger some ideas in developing your thesis statement.  Your thesis will begin with your main idea (Montgomery’s boycott); it then follows up with your supporting details.  Each body paragraph in your essay should discuss one of your supporting details introduced in your thesis statement.  This is why I included statements from your body paragraphs. 

What are your primary supporting details in your essay?

What are the main reasons the boycott of Montgomery’s buses succeeded? 

Sample thesis:

            “This paper discusses the event that initiated the boycott on December 1, 1955, after seamstress Rosa Parks declined to vacate her seat on the city bus and presents several factors believed to enable the boycott to succeed, such as (factor 1), (factor 2), (factor 3), and (factor 4).”

“It is from such inspiration that kept the movement on the go and largely contributed to the accomplishment of the Montgomery bus boycott goal.”

“To enhance the success of the boycott, African American leaders planned consistent mass gatherings to ensure that black Americans remained organized around the boycott.”

“MIA’s determination remained put even as the African American taxi operators were penalized for facilitating the boycotters, the association prearranged for carpool system with about 300 automobiles. The taxi drivers lowered their rates to ten cents while many others rode bicycles and walked to work.” (support and collaboration)

“The success of the Montgomery bus boycott was boosted by the national coverage of the boycott.”

Introduction/Conclusion: 
Your introduction for your statistics essay could use more background information to properly prepare your readers for paper’s content. 

What concerns are there regarding learning and performance?

What factors have emerged affecting the performance of the candidate?

What surveys and researches have been conducted?

What factors were the surveys and researches focused on?

Which survey did you choose to focus your paper on?

Providing more information in the introduction avoids surprising and possibly confusing your readers later on while they are reading.  This confusion could cause you to lose your readers.

Grammar & Mechanics: 
When including information that defines or clarifies information within your main sentence, separate this additional information with a comma.  Without the additional information, you still have a complete sentence with a meaningful message.  If the additional information comes in the middle of the sentence, the commas should be placed before and after.  When the additional information comes at the end of your sentence, you only need the comma beforehand. 

On 1^st December 1955, Rosa Parks, a black American declined to vacate her seat for a white traveler on a Montgomery public bus.

Within the Research, Time Management is the independent variable while student’s performance is the dependent variable.

Summary of Next Steps: 

• Include your supporting details in your thesis statement.
• Provide sufficient background information in your introduction to prepare your readers.
• Use commas to separate your additional information from your main sentence. 

Thank you, Shivam for submitting your essay for a review. I enjoyed helping you with this step in the revision process. Have a good day! ~ Elizabeth A.

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Please look for comments [in bold and in brackets] in your essay below.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

ROSA PARKS: WHY DID THE BOYCOTT OF MONTGOMERY’S BUSES SUCCEED?

Sparked by the arrest of Rosa Parks, the Montgomery bus boycott was a one-year mass protest which came to an end with the Supreme Court decision that discrimination on public buses was illegitimate.[1] In the boycott that sort to protest against the segregated seating, black Americans declined to use the public buses in Montgomery, Alabama. The boycott is considered as the first far-reachingprotest against discrimination to happen in America and revealed the potential for thenonaggressive demonstrationto defy racial isolation successfully. It as well served as a case of reference for the southern campaigns that occcured after that.[When beginning your sentence with an introductory phrase, “It as well”, be sure to separate your phrase from the main sentence with a comma.  These phrases often tell when or why, and the comma creates the natural pause we hear when reading this aloud. Without the comma, the introductory part and main sentence can run together and become confusing.  This brings clarity to your sentence and improves readability.] On 1^st December 1955, Rosa Parks, a black American declined to vacate her seat for a white traveler on a Montgomery public bus. For this, she was detained and charged and the day of her case hearing marked the beginning of the boycott of citymeans of transport by the African Americans in Montgomery, which lasted for 381 days.[2] As the Supreme Court finally ruled that Montgomery integrate its public transport system, one of the young front-runners of the protest, Martin Luther King Jr. arose as a vocalnationwide leader of the American civil rights movements.The boycott was planned by the Montgomery Improvement Association (MIA) led by Martin LutherKing Jr. among other leaders. This paper discusses the event that initiated the boycott on December 1, 1955, after seamstress Rosa Parks declined to vacate her seat on the city bus and presents an argument of why the boycott of Montgomery’s buses succeeded.[What factors enabled the boycott to succeed?  Prepare your readers for your paper’s content by including your supporting details in your thesis statement.]

As of 1955, black Americans were still obligated by the city ordinance in Montgomery to sit in the back half of the public means of transport. Even so, they were required to vacate their seats for the white riders if the seats reserved for the whites at the front half of the bus were full. However, on the first day of December 1955, Rosa Parks was returning home from work. Together with three other African American women, she satat the first row of the back half. Afterthe seats reserved for the whites wereall occupied, the driver Fred Blake commanded Parks and the three ladies to give their places to the whites. Parks refused, but the three black American riders obeyed the request. As a result, Parks was arrested and penalized $10 in addition to the $4 court fees.

However, the backgrounds of the Montgomery bus boycott started way prior to the apprehension of Rosa Parks. In a collection of black professionals established in 1946 called the Women’s Political Council (WPC), members paidconsideration to the Jim Crow practices on the Montgomery public means of transport. In March of 1954, the council members held a convention with Mayor W. A. Gayle in which they presented their grievances for Montgomery public transportation system. They noted that the African Americans be allowed to enter from the front and not from the back of the bus and a rule requiring that means of public transportbe stopped at all corners in African Americansinhabitedregions just the same way it was done in white communities. However, the meeting was unsuccessful in yielding any charges. Jo Ann Robinson, the WPC president,restated the meeting’s requests to Mayor Gayle in a letter saying,

“There has been atalk from twenty-five or more local organizations of planning a city-wide boycott of buses. We, sir, do not feel that forceful measures are necessary for bargaining for a convenience which is right for all bus passengers....”[3]

A year following the meeting WPC council and Mayor Gayle, Claudette Colvin, a fifteen-year-oldwas under arrest for questioning the discrimination on Montgomery’s means of public transport.Several months later, Mary Louise Smith of 18 years was detained for her refusal to allow a white traveler take her seat. Nonetheless, neither of the arrests mobilizes Montgomery’s Black community like Rosa Parks turn of events since various organizations and associations were keen to bring racial prejudice to an end.

WPC reacted to the arrest of Park by mobilizing black Americans for a one-day demonstration of the Montgomery public means of transport on 5^th December 1955. Johnson made arrangements for a series of flyers at the Alabama State College and prepared a set of students to dispense them in the whole of the African American Community.[4] In the meantime, a bail was secured for Park to be released. Former leaders of the Montgomery chapter of the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People (NAACP) commencedto mobilize for local Africa American leaders counting Martin Luther King Jr. to arrange for a gathering. Also, African American leaders along with ministers met at organized for a meeting at the Dexter Avenue Baptist Church and decided to make public the December stay away from the buses campaign. Abernathy recalls how the foremostconvention of the MIA transpired noting that the one-day protest was successful.[5] While they feared that by extending it beyond the first day may fail, they remained determined to continue with the protest. Overall, the organized boycott received tremendous and startling publicity in various media channels includingweekend newspapers.This fact is even admitted in a letter from Durr to the director of Highlander Folk School that noted;

“I just received a communication from there giving a summary of the past year’s activities, and I think you should add how much you had to do with the Montgomery Bus Boycott which is really making history and is of the deepest significance. LIFE, TIME, CBS, NBC, and countless other papers have been down here covering it… I think it is the first time that a whole Negro community has ever stuck together this way and for so long and I think they are going to win it.”[6]

Thus, the success of the bus boycott was as well enhanced through solidarity of the black community in their quest for fairness and equality.

As from 6^th December, about 90 percent of black Americans in Montgomery refrained from boarding the city buses. On the same day, meetings were held that deliberated on the likelihood of lengthening the boycott into a long-standingcrusade. In the MIAgathering held at the Holt Street Baptist Church, King addressed thousands of people and reaffirmed their resolve by saying, “weare going to work withdaringwillpower to achievefairness on the public means of transport in Montgomery.”[7] What followed were unfruitful talks with the bus officials and city commissioners that resulted in a new list of demands. MIA demandedblack Africans shoukd betreated courteously by bus operatives, first come, first served to seat for everyone and that black bus operators predominate the black routes. The segregation nonetheless, continued, and as Willie Lee documented a certain lady’sthoughts concerning the boycott, she recorded the following,

“This stuff has been going on for a long time. To tell you the truth, it’s been happening ever since I came here before [World War II]. But here in the last few years, they’ve been getting worse and worse. When you get on the bus they yell: "Get on back there"...”[8]

While the demands were not met, the protest continued through 1956 in spite of the efforts by the white citizens and city officials to overthrow the boycott and the many challenges that came by. The houses of E. D. Nixon and Martin Luther King were even blown-up in thedawn of 1956. MIA’s determination remained put even as the African American taxi operatorswere penalized for facilitating the boycotters, the association prearranged for carpool system with about 300 automobiles.The taxi drivers lowered their rates to ten cents while many others rode bicycles and walked to work. To enhance the success of the boycott, African American leaders plannedconsistent mass gatherings to ensure that black Americans remained organized around the boycott. Martin Luther reiterated in one of the meetings that they won’t back down and urged the protestors to continue with the same spirit.[9] It is from such inspiration that kept the movement on the go and largely contributed to the accomplishment of the Montgomery bus boycott goal.

Whereas most of the publicity concerning the Montgomery bus objectionmajorly involvedblack ministers, women also played a vital role in ensuring the triumph of the campaign. Women such as Irene West and Robinson sustained MIA committees and volunteer networks.[10] Many cooks and maids from the African American community had to walk endless miles for a year in solidarity with the protest. Even so, many others who took part in the protest did so not just for themselves but for the generation to come in the event the protest was successful.

The success of the Montgomery bus boycott was boosted by the national coverage of the boycott. Furthermore, the trial of Martin Luther King Jr. gave rise to massive support from the people outside Montgomery. Veteran pacifists such as Glenn E. Smiley paid a visit to Montgomery and advised Martin Luther King Jr. to deploy the Gandhian practices along with passivity to African racialdealings.[11] King absorbed many ideas from other campaigns at the south and fashioned his own synthesis of Gandhian ideologies of nonaggression.

Despite all the challenges faced, the Montgomery Improvement Association along with other supporters of the boycott challenged the legality of the segregation in court. A federal suit concerning the bus segregation was filed. On 5^th June 1956, the federal district court declared that the discrimination on the public buses was illegitimate. The ruling was upheld in mid-November by the Supreme Court although it came into effect on 20^th December 1956.Generally, the boycott attracted a great deal of publicity in the various media and Martin Luther King Jr. came to spotlight in the entire country. The success of the Montgomery became an inspiration to other black American societies in the South to challenge racial discernment. Besides, it electrified the directnonaggressiveconfrontation phase of the civil rights movement.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Bibliography

Boycott, Rosa. "Montgomery Bus Boycott - Black History - HISTORY.Com." HISTORY.Com. Last modified 2010. Accessed April 13, 2017. http://www.history.com/topics/black-history/montgomery-bus-boycott.

"Interview About The Boycott." Historicalthinkingmatters.Org. Last modified 2017. Accessed April 13, 2017. http://historicalthinkingmatters.org/rosaparks/0/inquiry/main/resources/26/.

Mcghee, Felicia. "The Montgomery Bus Boycott And The Fall Of The Montgomery City Lines." Alabama Review 68, no. 3 (2015): 251-268.

"Montgomery Bus Boycott (1955-1956)". Kingencyclopedia.Stanford.Edu. Last modified 2017. Accessed April 13, 2017. http://kingencyclopedia.stanford.edu/encyclopedia/encyclopedia/enc_montgomery_bus_boycott_1955_1956/.

"READ: Abernathy Remembers The First Meeting Of The Montgomery Improvement Association." Historicalthinkingmatters.Org. Last modified 2017. Accessed April 13, 2017. http://historicalthinkingmatters.org/rosaparks/0/inquiry/main/resources/22/.

"READ Bayard Rustin's Diary." Historicalthinkingmatters.Org. Last modified 2017. Accessed April 13, 2017. http://historicalthinkingmatters.org/rosaparks/0/inquiry/main/resources/25/.

"READ: Handbill From Central Alabama Citizens Council Rally." Historicalthinkingmatters.Org. Last modified 2017. Accessed April 13, 2017. http://historicalthinkingmatters.org/rosaparks/0/inquiry/main/resources/23/.

"READ: Letter From Durr To Director Of Highlander Folk School." Historicalthinkingmatters.Org. Last modified 2017. Accessed April 13, 2017. http://historicalthinkingmatters.org/rosaparks/0/inquiry/main/resources/20/.

"READ: Letter From Robinson To The Mayor." Historicalthinkingmatters.Org. Last modified 2017. Accessed April 13, 2017. http://historicalthinkingmatters.org/rosaparks/0/inquiry/main/resources/19/.

"READ Martin Luther King, Jr. Speaks To The Crowd". Historicalthinkingmatters.Org. Last modified 2017. Accessed April 13, 2017. http://historicalthinkingmatters.org/rosaparks/0/inquiry/main/resources/24/.

"READ Robinson On The Boycott Leaflet Campaign." Historicalthinkingmatters.Org. Last modified 2017. Accessed April 13, 2017. http://historicalthinkingmatters.org/rosaparks/0/inquiry/main/resources/21/.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Students Performance in Higher Institutions

Learning and performance within tertiary institutions havebeen treated with due concerns as there have emerged various factors that affect the performance of a certain candidate. [Is there just one candidate they are concerned about?  If so, who is this person?  Why is this one person so significant as opposed to other students?  What brought the concern to light?] Therefore, surveys and researches have been conducted to know whether some factors have an impact on the performance of a student. In this context, we will focus on a certain survey published on a media stream that focuses on students learning and performance at higher learning institutions.

Research questions

                    i.            Is there any relationship between time management and academic performance of students in higher institutions?

                  ii.            Is there any relationship between procrastination and students’ academic performance?

                iii.            Is there any significance relationship between prioritization and students’ academic performance in a higher institution?

                iv.            Is there any significance difference in the impact of time management on student’s academic performance by gender in higher institutions?

Hypotheses

                   a.            There is no significant relationship between time management and student academic performance in higher institutions.

                  b.            There is no significant relationship between procrastination and students’ academic performance in higher institutions.

                   c.            There is no significant relationship between prioritization and students’ academic performance.

                  d.            There is no significant difference in the impact of time management on students’ academic performance by their gender.

Within the Research, Time Management is the independent variable while student’s performance is the dependent variable. The study is a descriptive research of survey type. The target population for this study was the entire students of Ekiti State tertiary institutions.

Sample and Sampling Techniques

The sample of this study was 200 respondents which comprised 100 students from Ekiti State University and 100 students from Federal Polytechnic, Ado-Ekiti. Purposive and stratified sampling techniques were used to select 100 male students and 100 female students from 300 Level of the two institutions. Two instruments were used to carry out the investigation. A structured questionnaire developed by the researcher, administered on the students of the two higher institutions under study to collect information on how they manage their time for their academic activities.

The instrument tagged Time Management and Students Academic Performance (TMSAP) has two sections (A and B). Section A of the questionnaire was designed to collect information on personal Data of the respondents while section B of the questionnaire was meant to collect information on how students manage their time. An inventory was used to collect the results. The instrument was validated by time management experts who examined each item of the instrument and matching them with the research questions to determine whether the instrument measured what is supposed to measure.

The researcher and research assistants visited the selected schools and administered the questionnaire (TMSAP). The researcher was able to retrieve 167surveys. 156 out of the 167 questionnaires that were properly filled were subjected to analysis. The Senate approved results of the respondents were collected from their departments. The 300 level second semester Senate approved results of the respondents were collected from their departments

Based on the findings of this study, the following conclusions are drawn: Lack of proper time management on the part of the students have some impacts on certain academic activities especially in the area of resumption for the new semester or session, registration of courses, attending lectures, doing the assignment, reading for test and preparation for examination to time. These are as a result of procrastination and not paying attention to issues like planning and prioritization.

In this study, some factors which could affect students’ performance were not discussed, these includes lack of self-concept, lack of appreciation, poor examination condition, lecturers factor (teaching method), lack of human resources and extracurricular activities. Extracurricular activities are most times voluntary, and as much as they could affect students’ performance, they also help students improve and acquire new talents.Type of teaching method mostly affects mathematical units. The interactivemethod seems to be more efficient for math courses. There should always be an element of believing in oneself and maximum utility of the available resources.

I concur with the article and, therefore, would give students the following recommendation: Students especially those in the higher institutions should use the findings of this work to improve their time management. [When including information that defines or clarifies information within your main sentence, “especially those in the higher institutions”, separate this additional information with a comma.  Without the additional information, you still have a complete sentence with a meaningful message.  If the additional information comes in the middle of the sentence, the commas should be placed before and after.]They have to be conscious of time in performing their academic activities so that the level of their academic performance can be high. Since procrastination among all the variables has much impact on academic performance according to the findings, students should strive hard to complete their assignments as well as othereducationalactivities on time so as to avoid not meeting deadlines. Also, procrastination is a strong time management variable among the student’s efforts should be geared towards organizing seminars by the social organization on how to address this cankerworm that has eaten deep into the lives of our students. I would have also researched on the effects of student’s drug abuse to student’s performance. In the test of hypothesis, we rejected the null hypothesis. With the confidence interval, we also find that there is a significant difference between the means. The results are not different since the final decision concludes that the mean of all males is distinct from the average of all females at 5% significance level

 

 

 

References

Adebayo, F. A., & Omojola, I. (2012). Influence of Time Management on Administrative Effectiveness in higher institutions in Ekiti State, Nigeria. International Journal of Educational Research and Technology, 3(1), 52-60.

 

Akomolafe, C. O. (2005). Principals Time Management abilities in secondary schools in Nigeria. Nigerian Journal of Educational Administration and Planning, 5(1), 58-67. 3.

 

Agarwal, A. (2008). Self discipline for student-influences on time management. Retrieve.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Attachments:

• 1501143531-paper.docx